On the Bright Side

Luckily I haven't experienced this, but I imagine it's the worst I could have gotten if I didn't stop pushing myself when I did. Unable to stand for the smallest period of time. Bed ridden and completely and utterly reliant on the people around me. Too tired to even watch tv or eat a proper meal.

Able to stand, but not for long. Most days are spent in bed or on the couch, alternating between TV and sleep. Can't go anywhere alone. Friends or family have to drive me to the doctor and wheel me into the office. They take notes and advocate for me, as the trip has me too tired to be totally lucid.

Dizzy spells are still a thing, so I can't drive, but I can walk farther with the help of a walker. I still need frequent breaks sitting down, but I can handle a doctor's visit with help of an uber. But emergency room visits are still a thing if I walk too far on a bad day.

I'm able to do the most basic of chores like laundry and cooking easy meals from time to time, but need the help of stools throughout the house. Going up and down stairs still take a toll, which means laundry can be an all day affair, if not mulitple days. Going out to see friends is still too much, but I have more energy to hang out online, even if I can't sit upright too long.

Driving is back on the table, which means minor excursions are as well with the help of my walker. I have to be careful not to over-do things because dizzy spells are very much still a threat, but I can feel when I'm heading that way and can quit while I'm ahead. While I can go to the grocery store, Doordash is a better bet as all the walking is likely to lead to a crash. But I'm able to visit nearby friends even if not as long as I used to.

I'm not needing to sit as often, so I've upgraded my walker for a portable stool. Though I still use the walker for bigger events that will be more walking and errands that require standing in lines. I can have more energy intensive days as long as I take breaks and pack emergency essentials like water, electrolytes, snacks, a fan, and a jacket. But I also have to plan for at least a week long crash, and probably a slow month. I'll still be accepting offers of food from roommates or ordering in food from time to time when I'm too tired to cook.

I'm able to handle chores and weekly social activities, but have to keep things within limits. I can only guarantee one day of plans, and I'm pushing things if I try to do multiple events in a day. I pick and choose what to put my energy towards. For example, chores and cooking are prioritized over going out to run errands, so groceries are still Doordashed. Days often alternate between productive and rest days. As long as I plan for and honor that, and don't push too hard on productive days, I'll stay pretty stable.

I'm feeling good enough that I sometimes forget to take my stool with me for regular socializing or errands. It's rare that I feel winded or fatigued enough to suddenly need to sit on a normal day, though it becomes more likely with extra physical effort or heat. I don't feel like I'll need to cancel plans when I feel fatigued. I trust my body can get me through a couple days before I need to really rest. I'm able to do physical therapy regularly on top of chores. For bigger excursions like festivals or theme parks, I'm still better off having a mobility aide like an electric scooter. I'll last much longer. But other daily things don't take so much planning.

I think I'll define these more specifically as I improve more. My personal best since all this started is a 7. But I guess I'll define this for now as my old normal. Working full time is still hard, but I'm consistently able to do part time. I'm able to keep up with my chores as well as help with others consistently. I may not be an accomplished hiker, but I can do daily walks around the neighborhood, and not struggle to go to festivals or theme parks beyond sore feet and a couple days of fatigue afterward. I'm able to socialize fairly consistently and there's no need for Doordash anymore except for convenience's sake. Even the stool's mostly retired, but I'll probably pack it for big events because it's super helpful for anybody.

The ultimate goal. Better than I've ever been, or perhaps a level of health I've glimpsed, but only briefly a couple times in life. I sleep a regular 8-9 hours and feel refreshed when I wake up. I'm able to work a full time job and only get sick once or twice a year. On top of work, I'm able to keep up with chores and a social life. I'm physically fit, able to hike for miles. I feel energized, like I could take on the world.